The other day I was driving alone in the car, which very rarely happens these days. I noticed the silence and appreciated it for a moment, until I realized the thoughts that were swirling around in my mind. I was somewhat commiserating with myself about a situation that the Lord and I have been carrying for a while now. I heard a lot of hopeless words floating around so I turned on worship music to battle against them. As I was worshiping I started talking to Jesus. I quickly realized I was holding something close that I was reluctant to reveal to Him. I found myself saying things like, “Here I am again. Talking about this same old thing. I don’t even know what to ask for anymore. I just need some relief. That’s what I need. Relief.” It was as if He said, “Yes, yes you do. And is that really what we’re talking about? Because I see something more…” I knew immediately what He was seeing and replied, “But I love You so much. I don’t want to say that. I don’t want to think it, much less tell you I’m thinking it.” To which He replied, “Yes. But I already know. I can hold it. It’s ok. You don’t have to hold it anymore if you’ll just tell me about it.”
And so I did. I just said it.
I said, “I know You can do anything. You can grow a 3rd arm on me right now if You wanted to. You make seas part and heal people and bring people back from the dead. And yet I’ve begged You for some relief from this draining relationship and yet here I am. Again. Still carrying it. I love You so much and I don’t want to accuse You of not being good. I know You’re good… And You aren’t acting on my behalf. You see it. You see it all. And yet You don’t move. And I want to be mad at You but I love You so much. So what do I do now with all this?”
As soon as the words left my mouth, I looked over to my left and noticed a billboard that said, “Wisdom Finds A Way” and the peace of Jesus filled my car. Matthew 11:28-30 says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” In that moment, Jesus took my yoke and my burdens and gave me His easy yoke and light burdens instead. I felt no shame or condemnation for my thoughts, only peace and can I dare say relief? Sweet relief.
Maybe that’s you today? Maybe you’re carrying far too much. Whether that’s pain, anger, bitterness, strife, jealousy, shame, sadness or guilt. Whatever your thing may be, can I encourage you today to just say it to Him? Tell Him about it, that which you so desperately want to hide or ignore. He will hear you and will find a way to bring you what you need. He always finds a way.
Contributed by Crystal Freeman